Life Affirmations

I repeat these to myself every morning:

-Just because I’m not showered or dressed by 11am doesn’t mean I haven’t done as much work as I used to when I showed up to a job at 7am

-a house with a little dirt and occasional small rodents is good for kids. Exercises their immune systems.

-it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere. Thus, Mommy’s Special Juice is always appropriate.

-”The O.C.” is just on a long hiatus

-you’re only as old as you…oh, forget it. I feel 80.

I’d add more but a small child is trying to climb a kitchen stool twice as tall as she is and I must stop her. Last night I caught her with the drawers of her dresser pulled out, trying to climb them like stairs. Two hours after bedtime. Naked.

The Return of the Columbine Courier

I don’t know if it was the warm weather or if people were out of town for the summer but the Columbine Courier has been really boring of late. This week is getting better. As I sit here eating my 5th Halloween-sized Nestle Crunch bar which I generally don’t even like but tastes great just because it’s Halloween candy and all Halloween candy tastes great, I will share the Sheriff’s log with you. If I don’t lay off the sugar, I’ll be in it next week. As always, the following is copied verbatim (including helpful commentary) from the local paper’s crime section:
SOUTHWEST JEFFCO: A suspected thief apparently had some movies to catch up on. A deputy was dispatched to a local supermarket one evening after the store’s loss-prevention staff scuffled with a shoplifter. It would seem that the man filled a blue “gift bag” inside his shopping cart with DVDs — about $510 worth. Not only that, but the suspect took approximately $23 in baked goods as well. Evidently he needed some munchies for his movie marathon. Store security got into a scuffle with the shoplifter, who was described as a 6-foot-tall 220-pound man wearing blue jeans and a light blue T-shirt. The suspect got away and was thought to have entered a local bar.

SOUTHWEST JEFFCO: It’s never a good thing when a man’s truck goes missing. A victim called the sheriff’s office after his vehicle was apparently stolen in front of his workplace. The vehicle was being stored in the parking lot with the employer’s consent, as it had expired tags, a flat tire and a “messed up ignition.” To top it off, the beast had to be started with a screwdriver. The victim went to other storefronts asking if anyone had further details on the apparent theft. Whoever took the truck must have been pretty handy — and pretty stealthy — as he needed to replace the tire, break in and start the vehicle with the unconventional key. A co-worker said she later saw the vehicle on the road with an unknown suspect driving. The vehicle’s not a pretty sight; valued at about $1,500, it comes complete with some dents and a couple tools in the bed. Had a dog and missing wife been involved, the victim might have been able to write a country song.