Dear Kids,

For the past eight and a half years, I have shared my home with you. I have shared money, food , energy and my impressively large store of knowledge and advice. I have shared time with you I previously reserved just for sleeping. I’ve shared my dinners and every dessert I’ve ever eaten in your presence. For nine months, I shared my actual breath and blood with you.

So I don’t feel at all bad when I tell you to leave my new Nook alone.