I had jury duty today. Fortunately, I was only there about an hour before the clerk told us to rip up our summons and go home. I should have been there for about ninety minutes but I was late…which means I also missed most of the video they were showing — “The Colorado Juror.” By the time I came in, I think they had covered all instructions and prohibitions and were to the part where people beam at the camera and talk about how they were annoyed at being summoned but by the end, felt a real sense of accomplishment (over what? Voting “guilty” or “not guilty”?)
I discovered, in the sixty minutes I was waiting in the jury room, the following people:
The Irritated Businessperson — came armed with computer. Ignored everyone. Snaked computer cord across the aisle, hunched over in tiny plastic chair and got to work. Looked vaguely discumbobulated…I’m thinking because he was prevented from also being on his cell phone.
The Bag Lady — came armed with…everything. If the jury room is suddenly quarantined due to infectious disease or tornado, you want to be in the pool with the Bag Lady. She arrives with two large shoulder bags holding granola bars, water, 3 paper books, an e-reader and knitting yarn with needles. At some point during the morning she will need to empty one entire bag to search for a pen, which is the only thing she did not bring. And yes, all you suspicious types, I’m a Bag Lady. I revel in it and I will not be ashamed.
The Unencumbered Man — came armed with nothing. Absolutely nothing. No bag. No book. I didn’t even see his juror summons, which we were told to bring. Perhaps he presented it to the clerk, then ripped it into tiny pieces and ate it. The form said to be prepared to stay until 5pm and at 8:30 this morning The Unencumbered Man was leaning forward with his head in his hands and his eyes closed. He did not change position for the hour we were there. Was this his game plan for the next nine hours? The only drawback from being released early is that now I’ll never know.
