The kids are participating in the school science fair in a few days. The following list of prohibitions was sent home yesterday:

-Live disease-causing organisms which are pathogenic to humans or other live vertebrates

-Hazardous microbial cultures and fungi, live or dead, including unknown specimens

-Flames

-Dangerous chemicals including caustics and acids

-Highly combustible solids, fluids or gases

-No human blood, blood products or other body fluids shall be used in any project unless the student strictly adheres to the rules of the International Science and Engineering Fair

All this makes our homemade lava lamp look quite amateurish. Also, I wanna know what prompted the school to prohibit experiments that might accidentally take down the neighborhood power grid. There has to be a story there.

So Chris and I …

So Chris and I don’t really go to the movies much…me because it’s too big of a gamble to pay for a sitter and pay for a movie and leave afterward feeling like I wanted to love it but I really didn’t. Chris because he’s held a theory since college that every movie ever made is about 20 minutes too long.

But every once in a while, after the kids are in bed, I’ll put on a movie and usually not fall asleep before it’s over. Chris doesn’t often watch with me, but he’ll drift in and out of the room, which leads to conversations like the following:

Chris: “Wait. I thought the wizard was trapped on top of a tower.”

Me; “He was. That was an hour ago.”

Chris: “But how did he get down?”

Me: (muttering sullenly) “Giant owl came and flew him away.”

Or this one:

Chris: “Why’s that guy mad?”

Me: “That’s Mr. Rochester. He’s not mad. He’s tormented because he loves Jane Eyre but he’s married to a woman who keeps trying to set him on fire.”

Which led to a tangential conversation about how Chris would forgive a lot of things…but constantly trying to incinerate him is a dealbreaker. Made me miss a whole middle part of the movie where people talked quietly to each other in British accents. Dang.